BRAVERY IS ANOTHER NAME FOR THE TRANS COMMUNITY’S MENTAL HEALTH, BUT FEAR IS WHAT KEEPS FOLLOWING IT

BRAVERY IS ANOTHER NAME FOR THE TRANS COMMUNITY’S MENTAL HEALTH, BUT FEAR IS WHAT KEEPS FOLLOWING IT

Interview with Ida Markovikj. The interview was conducted by Kai Gladkova and it was translated into Macedonian by Ivana Dragshikj.

Ida Marković is a holder of a Master’s Degree in psychology, a licensed Gestalt Therapist and a doctoral student at the Faculty of Media and Communications at the Department of Transdisciplinary Humanities and Theory of Art and Media. Today, she works in the Family Counseling Center at the Health Center in Bar, Montenegro. Ida applies her multidisciplinary knowledge to numerous projects and workshops dedicated to young people and their needs, as well as to raising public awareness of the importance of mental health. On this occasion, Kai Gladkova talks to Ida about her experience as a transgender person and a psychologist, about the importance of gender identity, the influence of society and loved ones on the mental health of transgender people, and the relationship of psychology to the trans issues.

How has being transgender affected your approach to therapy and counseling?

– Being transgender helped me to see and accept people better, to think outside the binary framework, but also to realize how limiting and framing diagnoses are.

What challenges do you face as a transgender psychologist?

– For a long time I worked as a psychologist who defines herself as a gender fluid person, and that was exactly the period in which I somehow experienced the most discomfort.

Because I work for a “state owned institution” (Healthcare Department), I have had clients who refuse to work with me solely because of my assumed gender identity, which is again, in a way, a good thing, because if our clients are not comfortable with us, then it is not good for them.

I have become famous in the public after the media lynching dictated by the neighboring country, in which I was characterized as part of the “American agenda and a danger to children and young people”, after which I was soon physically attacked by a group of young people on the street.

However, being transgender and working with the trans community essentially helped me to know what a treasure it is to be a trans person and how, in fact, this experience leads me to an even greater understanding and acceptance of others, but also of the objective cruelty of society. I realized that my clients, like myself, can be resilient enough to love ourselves and others, no matter what conditions and circumstances we live in. In Gestalt we would say – love regardless of the field we are in.

Why is gender identity important?

– There are male, female and non-binary identities (when the individual does not feel belonging to either male or female identity, or when they manifests a combination of both). Gender identity is the way society views a person and it is important because in some ways it is the foundation of both our social and personal selves. I don’t think gender identity is what defines us completely, but it does define us in many ways. We know that we are social beings and that it is necessary for us to be a part of it in order to survive and survive as a species. The harmony between gender and sex identity brings harmony, which is very important for a person to be able to realize and satisfy their needs and live his life.

How does social stigma affect the mental health of transgender people?

– Given that I work with both the broader majority and the trans community, I notice a greater degree of social phobia among trans people, which is not surprising as we live in a transphobic, misogynistic and patriarchal society. When it comes to the trans community, I have to admit that it is a community that is hurt daily by the whole society.

Social stigma primarily creates a hostile climate towards this community, causes fear in people to live freely and engage in activities and social life. This often leads to the ghettoization of trans people or living within four walls, which of course results in a higher degree of depression and feelings of inferiority

As a result, many trans people are forced to hide their identity completely or to act in integrity with themselves only in front of a few. What impact does this have on their mental health?

– Whenever we talk about repression and suppression, we must also talk about how they affect the mental, but also the social circumstances. Any kind of negation, suppression and displacement leads to greater internal and social conflict. There is no health where we are forced to deny or hide, or, in other words, not live our identities. Bravery is another name for the trans community’s mental health, but fear is what keeps following it.

Why are parental and family support critical to the wellbeing of transgender children and adolescents?

– Family support is always important when it comes to a vulnerable period, such as the teenage and adolescent years. Children at that age are neither children nor adults, they need the support of their parents in becoming what they want to be, as well as the boundaries that their parents will set. Because, regardless of the fact that young people want to break boundaries and prohibitions, they need them in order to clearly define themselves in relation to adults, peers, but also to themselves. When we talk about trans children, we are talking about an even more sensitive group of children, for whom support from parents is especially important, because support from society is absent and they are often victims of various types of violence. In fact, parental love is the most important, but as long as we are in denial, we cannot talk about loving our child. On the contrary, we are talking about disrespecting and banning their existence, thus unconsciously encouraging self-destructive behavior.

What key messages or advice would you share with parents of transgender children to better understand and support their child’s journey?

– Listen to your child, ask questions and talk to them. Don’t jump to conclusions, don’t bring your fate and their fate to disaster. In the end, the relationship you have with your child is what matters, not their hair color, style or interests. Love your child and you can’t go wrong.

What advice would you give to parents who may be struggling to understand or accept their child’s gender identity?

– Parents should first educate themselves so that they understand that their child is not sick and does not need to be treated or put back on the “right path”. Parents should talk and listen, encourage their children to open up to them, and then go together with them towards healthy growth, for the benefit of the children, but also for themselves. It is important for them to understand that they are not losing their child, but getting to know them, and by accepting them, they are making their way easier for both them and for themselves.

At a time when stigma and anti-trans propaganda are at their strongest, many transgender people face problems. Many of them are minors or in puberty and struggle with gender dysphoria without any support. What is your message to them?

– My message is that regardless of what they say about them, it is important that they stay in touch with themselves, ask for a second opinion, a different point of view. Not to look for love from those who can’t or don’t want to give it to them, and to take care of their mental health, not to rush anywhere because they will achieve everything in their own time. I also want to tell them that they can always ask for support from the community, the organizations that deal with TIGV individuals, such as the “Spectra” Association in Montenegro, and, of course, ask for psychological help because they certainly need it in such a difficult time to maintain any individuality.

How do you deal with the hostile social climate yourself?

– I surrounded myself with people who love and accept me, I continued with individual psychotherapy and I didn’t force myself to come out until I was ready for it. I informed myself about trans issues from trusted sources and sensitized experts. I went out in front of the clients and saw that they all stayed for therapy with me, which meant a lot to me, and also proved that the relationship that is being built is more significant than just one aspect of our identity. Because in addition to being trans, I am also many other things. Being trans does not mean to be limited, not only to have a greater challenge in self-acceptance, but also the acceptance of others; the objective perception of reality and giving permission to fight for what you are and what you believe.

In the past, psychology pathologized transgender people for years, so it is to be expected that this tradition still influences the way society and experts think about this. What are the most common prejudices related to gender identity among your colleagues?

– When it comes to persistent prejudices from psychology, there are of course the theories about the female and male brain, the binary persistent theories, but also some extremely misogynistic psychoanalytic theories. But what we do know is that theories are subject to change, so feminist psychoanalysts and theorists have brought us new insights into the perception of gender.

The influence of anti-gender narratives certainly exists in psychological circles as well. In general, I think that the main problem is that in many psychology schools and programs in general, the topic of sexuality is still taboo, and therefore the transgender topics are usually included in the courses related to clinical psychology, observed through diagnostic factors. I believe that the biggest problem is the lack of education and insensitivity of a large part of the psychological staff, as well as the continuous image of the trans identity as a pathology.

Involvement in trans community activities, education, but also learning by clients and their families is important. Some of my colleagues learned the terminology of cis and trans, exactly from me and it is the visibility, confronting and working with trans people that is the best way to improve their knowledge, overcome their own fear and contribute to a more equal and healthy society.

What is the importance of affirmative language and terminology in supporting transgender people in psychotherapy and in everyday life?

– I often like to quote Ludwig Wittgenstein and his sentence “The limits of my language are the limits of my world”, which actually tells us how important language is and how much we can only understand what we articulate, and that’s why it’s important to use gender-affirming language, which always goes with gender-sensitive language. When it comes to the trans community, the use of gender-affirming language is very important, because it is the first indication that we respect the identity of the other person and that we respect who they are.

“I see you and respect you, even if you are far from me, even if you are different.” It is a very important decision that cannot be made without an affirmative speech.